"Somewhere in Utah"
Hi, I'm Dixie. Dixie Normous.
I'm FBI agent, slash single mother.
I'm still tough...and sexy.
Well, Miss Normous...
Shall we shag now or shag later?
Oh Austin...behave.
Hey Powers!
You better watch your freaking self.
Because this is one doctor who does make house call.
Right, mini me?
Hey, asshole!
I'm right over here, I'm Mini me. Come and get me!
And cut! - That's a cut everybody.
So Austin, what do you think of the opening credits?
Well, I can't Steven Spieberg the groovyiest
filmmaker in the history
Is making a movie about my life.
Very shaggadelic baby, yeah!
Having said that, I do have some thoughts
Really? About my friend here? I think is fine the way it is.
No offense here Stevies, but you got to have Mojo baby, yeah!
Ladies and Gentlemens.
This is Quinesy Jones.
This is where the movies get its Mojo baby.
Alright, everybody. Ready for tape 2.
Is Britney Spears!
Oops, I did it again, baby.
"Dr. Evil's Hollywood Lair"
Welcome back Doctor,
How was space?
Space was cool, wasn't it Mini me?
Doctor Evil, while you were in space.
I created a way for us to make hugh sums of legitimate money
and still maintain the ethics in the business practices
of an evil organization...
I have turned us into a talent agency. The Hollywood talent agency. -Really?
By charging clients 9% rather than the traditional 10%
We've been able to signed such star ...
such as George Clooney
Julia Roberts.
And Leo Dicapro.
And the best part of the whole scheme is...
We all get our own assistance.
Hi, I'm number 3.
Wow, I'm really excited here to be part of the team here in H2A.
Very impressive, number 2.
but I've finally have the perfect plan.
In the Seventy, the Dutch heatiness
By the name of Uhand Van Der.
But he has gold so much even lasted the generation but unfortunate he had an
accident. He has the name... "Goldmembers"
He invented a cold fusion unit. Via... "Tractor beams"
"Tractor Beams"
Powerful enought to put a meteor to earth
The meteor is called "Minus 22"
Is made of solid gold. Is he sleeping?
Is okay but Mini me won't get any chocolate!
Use your won't like a big boy clone...
He's okay!
Here's the Chocolate. Is from Brus.That's in Belgium, that's where daddy from.
Check out Mini me.
He gone mental on a bar of chocolate.
Your chair, Dr. Evil.
Thank you.
You know when you have kids, you'll find out every kids are different hey?
For example, Mini me loves chocolate.
Scotty don't!
Well, I love chocolate fine.
Scotty don't!
Oh yeah, is very familiar, you do what I do.
Honestly, isn't this...
How about this ladies and gentlemens Scotty do.
Dr. Evil, I think is time to finsih your plan.
Thank you number 2.
Ladies and gentlemens. My plan is...
Scotty Do.
Oh come on, you're such a lame ass!
This is causing me psychological harm.
I don't know who am I.
Y'know what? I would love some chocolate.
Thank you.
Come on!
Are you okay, Mini me?
Did I pull you too hard? I don't want to hurt you.
Dr. Evil.
Yo?
Was does Goldmembers's plan
has to do with us? -Our earlier attempt of the tractor
beams went through serveral preparation. Preparation A were a compelete failure.
But now ladies and gentlemens, we finally have a working tractor beam
Which we shall called "Preparation H"
What?
Why don't you called it operation Ass-cream Ass.
I'm sorry would you like some ice-cream.
Yes, I'd like some chocolate ice-cream.
Perhaps later.
Doctor Evil, I love your plan.
Really?
Yeah doctor, is a really good plan.
Yes, on the whole I think preparation H is good.
What is it now?
No, nothing. Y'know what? I agree...
Preparation H does feel good.
On the whole,
Well, I'm glad we expected you to stay linkerity
Well, ladies and gentlemens, I shall travel back to 1975
Pick up goldmembers and bring it back to the future.
And the best part of the plan is...
No one can stop me.
Even Austin Powers.
Not so fast.
You're surrounded Dr. Evil.
Shit!
Doctor Evil, the court sentences you...
to 400 years.
You have anything to say?
No, but I think Mini Me does.
Look like 2 eggs and a hankie.
The criminal genius know as Dr Evil and his clone
were sentenced today at the world organization.
For his efforts, Austin Power
the son of England most famous knight.
Will be knighted by the queen
at Buckingham Palace.
Arise, Austin Powers.
Thank you, your majesty.
Your father must be very proud of you.
Oh yeah.
Come on dad, stand up and take a bow.
"Austin's Pad - That night"
I am a sexy beast.
Is Austin Powers, you're so funny.
Also very sexy.
Can I have an autograph?
Of course, your name is?
Fook Mi.
Oh behave baby,
Fook Mi
Your mother make that up?
Fook Mi, see.
Oh I see.
Your name is Fook Mi.
You want a drink?
Yes of course, but I have a private vault in the back you are welcome to use...
Here you go.
Fook Mi, that was fast.
Fook Yu.
You're going the right way first. I don't care, who knows it?
Austin,
this is my twin sister, Her name Fook yu Fook yu...Fook Mi.
Twins...
Austin Power is very Sexy.
Are you sleeping?
It maybe anything, but sleeping is not of them
We can give you a massage.
Sorry about that, I swear to god, it'll never happens
Hold on a tick.
"Things to do before I die"
Okay, now where were we baby?
Ah Austin, I'm sorry to interrupt.
Austin, is your father.
What?
He's been kiddnapped.
So that's why my father wasn't at the knighting cermony
No actually.
He was kiddnapped after you were knighted.
He was last seen on his yatch
Oh, yeah. -Exactly, just take a look.
Gentlemens follow in.
Austin, these mens were signed to guard your father.
Okay chaps heads up, trouser down.
I think we might have found a clue.
God Blimey. Your private is painted gold. How bizarre.
That's enough. Okay.
There is only one person in the world
who truly understand the psychology of a mad man
Dr Evil.
Maximum Security Facility Geneva.
I've been expected you, Mr Powers.
My father is missing.
Yes, I've heard. How ironic.
You've finally caught me, but yet now you need me more then ever
You always needed me haven't you Mr Powers?
Remember when I told you we are no different you and I
We are not so different you and I. -Very clever.
But now, who has my father?
Nothing could be my father from the truth.
You said my father.
No, I didn't.
Didn't Didn't
For me is a dad issue.
Daddy loves me.
It seems like the knighting cermony wasn't the only time your...
daddy let you down.
Remember that day at the academy? Think!
It was graduation.
"British Intelligence Academy-1958"
Have you ever heard of knocking, man?
We were just getting started.
Don't forget you have a brief oral exam.
Looks like Master Evil is the top international man of mystery
He's number of the class.
Hi, everybody I'm number 1.
Hello, I'm number 2.
Nice to meet you number 2
I'm going to be name international man of mystery
Who threw the cup cake? Honestly?
And now is time to award the honour this year international man of mystery.
Austin Power -Well done Austin
Is like in my dream to win this award just like my dad.
Stand up dad, take a bow.
Dad?
I had the best score in the class and I didn't get diddy squat
Tell me Austin Powers,
What did you find on the sailors? A golden surprise? Perhaps?
All the sailors have their meat painted gold.
Yes, is the criminal master mind.
Name: Goldmembers
How can I find this gold members?
Could quote Mr Powers. I give you Goldmembers
You give me a transfer to a regular prison
So I could be with my beloved Mini me.
I can get you a tansfer to a regular prison, now where's goldmember?
Not where Mr Powers,
But when
1975 Studio. New York city. Corner 68
Instead of hiding your father in some location. Goldmembers hiding in 1975.
So our engineerers craved this vehicle
to time travel to the Seventy
Smashing. A pimp moblie -I know is particular your fancy
What can I say?
Here we go, 1975.
Good luck, Austin.
1975, yeah baby, yeah.
New York City 1975, Studio 69
Good evening everybody. And welcome to studio 69.
Ladies and gentlemens, Goldmembers.
Everybody, I'm feeling horny.
Isn't that Austin Powers?
I'm sorry?
You got a lots of nerves checking your job wide ass in here.
I don't believe we even met?
Is me Foxy.
Long time no see.
Stop.
We can't be seen talking to each others
Because is kind of distraction.
I get it, very clever.
First thing first.
No body stands up with Foxy Clepabra.
I never intended to hurt you baby.
I got got a taste of honey.
Oh behave. You always make me laugh.
Well, y'know is a gift baby.
Foxy, what are you doing in Goldmembers club?
I'm under cover.
About a year ago my mate was killed.
The gold members is prime top suspect.
Your father is in the back room,
under heavy guard.
Thanks Foxy.
Austin, good luck.
Dad!
Hello son.
I'm here to rescue you.
Come quickly
Why don't you rescue me in about 7, 8 minutes.
Knock it off.
I don't want to see my dad on the job. come on let's go.
I'm sorry.
What's wrong with your neck?
What a stiff neck I have.
Listen dad, if you are gonna talk naughty things
in front of these American girls.
At least speak english, english.
Alrightmy son.
I was about to make love to this pretty girl
Is this true?
If you were aroused, why didn't you pleasure yourself?
What alone?
Indeed.
Remember Christmas dinner with the Scottish girl.
The insane one?
She was the wife of the dancer who lived upstairs.
A lawyer who became a policeman in a truck...
????????????...Tea kettle!
Shat on a turtle!
That was a good time.
Welcome to 1975, Austin Powers.
Excuse me I have to change, the bogey sweater made me sweaty
You see Mr Powers.
I love golds.
The looks of it, the smell of it, the texture...
I love gold so much...
I lost my virginity in
an accident.
Hence the name, gold members
We're both swingers you see.
You have a tight body.
You bod like a tiger.
Would you like a smoke in the pancake?
A what?
A smoke in the pancake
There is no pleasing you..
That's not right.
Hello, my hair...
That's a keeper, put it in the skiner please.
Don't be disgusting.
Quickly, quickly thank you.
You're insane Goldmember!
That's the way, I like it.
Is the KC and Sunshine band.
Alright gold members, don't play the laughing boys.
There's only 2 things I can't stand in this world
People who are intolerant, of other's people culture.
And the Dutch.
What?
Take him away.
And now it is time to say good bye.
The Dr. Evils ordered
Which for you is bad news.
Up your ass!
He's taking my father to the time machine.
Come on now.
That was close Foxy, I owe you one.
Austin, I found this in Goldmember's office.
Is a micro film might be a clue. -Smashing.
We can catch goldmember together. I want to go to the future with you.
I should warn you Foxy,
2002 is very different.
Well, the future better gets ready for me.
Because I'm Foxy Clepatra.
I'm a whole loud woman!
2002, here we come.
"Georgia State Prison"
I have some news.
Is your son.
he wants to take over the family business.
Scotty Does?
He got so evil he'd starts to losing his hair.
He just wants to make you proud doctor.
After all is hard for the boy not having a father,
Now you're in space, now you're in jail
Don't tell me he feels nelgected.
I was adopted by freaking Begiums.
You were adopted?
I never met my birth parent.
There was a car accident.
I was told it was a beautiful Begium day.
The smell of waffles and brussel sprout filled the summer air until...
My birth mother was incinerated
I only survived because of smoky conkies
formed a human influents.
They raised me to be evil.
Nothing compared to this.
being inside the belly of the beast night after night all alone...
Let's freak.
Time's up.
Visiting time is over.
Move it.
Gentlemens, listen up.
Here is the new plan.
You're going to start a riot.
And we're going to walk out the front door.
Hey man, other mens make more sense then you.
Really?
Let me put it to you this way.
Tonight 8 p.m...
You're going to start a riot.
There you are, good morning sunshine.
Morning
Did you get some sleep? Great.
Me too.
You have the mail.
What does this thing do?
Well, is called the internet.
It compeletely revolutionise the way we live and
access to vital information
For example, have a look at this.
And now that's vital information?
I know is amazing.
What's happening baby?
A lot has happening Foxy.
Dr. Evil has escaped.
The good news is one of my agent
has able to manage to infiltrate Dr. Evil's organisation.
Excellent, we have tried for years to get a mole in to Dr. Evil's lair.
Yes.
Here he is.
The most...
The most excellent agent we've ever seen?
Yes, the most excellent agent we've ever seen.
Thank you.
Well, I don't know the exact location.
But I have learnt that Dr'Evil Lair has moved
to an area outside Toyko,Japan.
But the way I do realise I have a large mole on my face.
What? Where's that mole?
I didn't see one.
I also realise the ironic, I am myself.
No one will make that connection.
Any way...well done.
Is nice to mole you. Don't say mole.
Stop.
Bye. -Mole.
Shut up!
"Tokyo Bay"
A periscope
Ladies and gentlemens, welcome to my submarines lair.
Is long and hard for the seamons
Nothing? Not some?
Dr Evil! You looked very torn
Really you look like a man.
Goldmember, what did one dude say to another dude?
Yeah, a little creepy. Yes this is a keeper.
You're not gonna put that skin in your mouth are you?
You did. Okay, that's just gross.
That was good.
Ladies and gentlenmens, As you know,
We have been designing a tractor beam.
Code name "Preparation H."
Is powerful enough to pull the meteor or Midas 22
Collison cause with the earth
upon entering the atmosphere the bottom magma
Causing a gobal flood. Allow me to demonstrate
Go down the gobal.
Congratulation
You have succeeded to turn me a jack in the box.
I'm okay, I'm okay.
Release the meteor
God damn it!
Way to go.
Let's try to find my balls for god sake.
I'm ok,
Dr. Evil we still have the utimate shire police
May I presence to you the very sexual
Austin Power's father...
His what?
His father doctor Evil.
His father?
Don't don't speak freaky dutch.
His dad.
Dad the father.
Nigel Powers.
Hello, hello.
Bring him to me.
Easy peasy, lemon squeaky.
Put the gun down.
Is this the first day on the job or something?
Look, this is how dutch, you attack me one at a time.
I knock you out at a single punch.
Okay go.
He's good.
Do you know who I am?
Have you realise how many people I've killed over the years?
Look at you. You don't even have a name tag.
You got no chance.
Why don't you just roll down
Alright, Dr.Evil give yourself up while you still have a chance
Okay, okay. You got me.
Nigel Powers meet mini me.
I thought it was a small cabbage.
Take him away!
Can I paint his youoo gold?
How about no you crazy Dutch bastard!
You know, I think is a shame the way they treat you.
Just because you're one 8th their size.
Doesn't mean you deserve one 8th of their respect?
I'm curious.
Is everything in proportion?
Don't be shy, let's have a look.
My word, you're a tripod.
What do you feed that thing huh? Is like a baby holding an apple?
The good new is if you get tired, you can use it as a kick stand
I think we both know who the main man is behide this operation.
Tokyo International Airport, Japan.
Tokyo is a gogo baby yeah.
What's kicking?
A lot is kicking Foxy.
Austin?
One of Dr Evil's hutchman
has been spotted at the Asahi Sumo Arena.
See there immediately.
Thanks Basso
"Asahi Sumo Arena"
Jesus christ! This is making my nuts fall together.
Is good as star fire!
That's not right. -Are we done here?
That's not right. I think is fat bastard.
Are you okay, Austin?
Sound as a pound love.
Hey diaper lady! Here's my diaper.
You really are a fat bastard.
You're hurting my feeling.
I'm going on a date.
Who's your friend?
Do you find me sexy?
Shut up mouth.
That's enough.
Okay you got me, put it down.
My tit'it.
I got you now.
For the utimate manoeuvre.
I hope all my friends get ready!
Oh crinky.
What if my wire broke?
You're under arrest sugar.
Okay, fat bastard, who the Japanese you made an exchange with?
His name is Roberto.
He owns the Roberto industry.
The tractor beam.
You honestly think that crime can pay?
I really take my sumo westling seriously y'know.
I'm an over weight child in a society that demands perfection.
Hey pa!
Hey Scotty.
I got you a present.
Really?
Open the tank.
Are those sharks got laser beams attached to their head?
Cool.
I have sharks got laser beam
attached to their freaking head.
We're the evil dad and evil son you can ever ask for.
I love you, dad
I love you son
This is the moment.
Scotty, come here
Come to squat next to daddy.
Mini me, move down the bench.
Scotty is on fire.
Alright, is getting crowded in here.
Everyone out, everyone out!
Not you Scotty.
Not you number 2.
Not you guys back there.
This is uncomfortable.
You mustn't understand his small.
Austin, we are confirmed what fat bastard told you was accurate.
He was hired by Dr Evil to constructed preparation H
So Roberto has the technology to built Tractor beam.
Which mean Roberto will lead us to gold members?
which mean goldmembers will lead us to my father.
"Roboto Industries Tokyo Headquarters"
I am president of Roboto Industries.
My name is Mr. Roboto.
Thank you Mr. Roboto.
Thank you for seeing us on such short notice.
You speak Japanese?
I'm looking for my father.
He was kiddnapped.
Please eat some shit.
Please eat what?
Please eat some shitake mushrooms.
Tell me what do you know about my father whereabout?
Your ass is happy.
No,
Your assignment is an unhappy one.
I have a hugh rode
I have a rodent problem.
A little off the topic, but unfortunate nonetheless.
Quite off topic, thank you very much.
Why don't I just speak in English?
That would be a good idea, wouldn't it?
That way I wouldn't mis read the subtitles
making like you're saying things which are dirty.
I'm sorry to hear about your father.
please excuse me.
I have another appointment.
But the way I do have a hugh rod.
But the way I do have a hugh rod... I wish.
Roboto was lying to us.
Tell me something I don't know.
What?
My interest tells me my father is still in this building.
You keep a look out. I'll try to sneak in.
Austin Powers is on the premises.
Yes, sir.
Keep a look out for Austin Powers.
Come here and look at this.
Is he doing what I think he's doing?
There's gold members
You need this to work the tractor beam.
Is a gold key.
Hand up Gold member!
Is pay back time!
I'm sure you can kill me.
But what happens to Austin Powers's father?
Dad!
He's going to have an unfortunate accident.
Don't worry dad, I'm here to rescue you.
Now you're trying to save me.
Instead of stopping Goldmembers?
He won't get away.
Austin, goldmember is getting away.
Hello, hello, are you gonna introduce us Austin?
She is...
Nigel Powers.
Is that Odin Flora you're wearing?
Yes, it is.
That should how woman should smell.
My life, even if you live up to the reputation.
I got an idea
Your car is mini.
Is not the size mate.
Is how you use it.
What? I saved your life.
Should have done your job!
Shut up and turn around!
Run! Is Godzilla!
Is Godzilla.
This is goldmember
Oh great, goldmember got away.
Now what?
I think is obvious, we should take Dr. Evil layout.
You can be my back up son. -Back up?
Well, I don't like to use gadgets.
You know, I think being frozen damage your brain
And how would you know?
What are you saying son?
What about your Swissish nanny?
Let said I didn't hired her for the cooking.
When you were 24.
We were mates you and I.
I need a father.
I've risked my life trying to save you.
If you got an issue, here's your tissue.
That is not funny.
Well, I supposed we should go our separate way then
Fine.
"Austin's Tokyo Hotel"
So I've been signed to welcome you to the minister of defense
I can't wait to tell Austin your affection.
Austin should be here any second.
Are you trying to kill me?
You want to be friends huh
Wait a tit.
I wwon't fall for that again.
I think people treated him badly
That's why he decided to help us.
I'm sure Austin and him...
I guarantee mini me will be alright.
Austin, there you are.
Mini me has switched side.
Sorry.
Welcome aboard.
Mole!
Better?
So you decided to join us huh, Mini me?
And thank you for the map of Dr.Evil's son.
You are so beautiful.
You're and angel.
You're so sweet.
Are you sure you don't have a little clone in you?
That is so not funny.
Okay, prepare to dive.
This car will turn into submarine.
Get me the world organisation!
What it is Dr. Evil?
In a few hours the meteor will crash into the world
to make a global flood.
Unless you pay me 1 billion, 1 zillion....
I think you're bluffing.
Do you want me to demonstrate?
No.2 the key please.
Sir, Dr Evil is not bluffing.
Which one?
Is that one that looks like...
Juicy melons
What do you think?
Any sign of that satellitle?
No, is gone.
Cool baby, you are very switch on.
Thank you Austin.
Dr Evil, is been success over the device.
Bonus.
You're not joking.
In fact, if you don't give me the bonus...
Let me take you out of this.
That's the evil laugh.
Scotty.
Let's go.
We need to disgust.
There's only one uniform.
Hello, buddy, how it going?
Sorry about that.
Good hat.
Come on Mini me, let's go.
Hold it right there mister.
Did you really think you could get away with this?
I did actually yes.
Every new recruit must have a physical
Now get in here sailor
Okay sailor, go behide the screen
and strip down.
Okay, let's go to that screen.
Is over there.
Come on, hurry the map.
I'm going to need a urine sample,
Mini me there's shadows, we're casting into shadows.
You should check that out.
What the hell is going on in here?
Hands up.
You heard me I said hands up.
Come with me.
Mini me, go.
Okay, you got me.
Are you alright mini me?
Mr Powers.
Before I kill you, I think you'd like to see the genius of my plan
Key please.
What the? how? Where?
Looking for this?
Mini me?
Drop your gun,
cos foxy Cleprara in the house.
Alright Dr Evil.
It has finally come down to this.
You me and the gun.
What are you gonna do now Austin?
Dad?
What are you doing here.
I got to finish this up once and for all.
You can't do that.
I have to protect my son.
Dad, I'm fine.
I'm not talking about you.
I'm talking about him...
What?
Dr. Evil is not your son.
I am your son.
You both are.
What?
It was our first...
family holiday together.
I've just finish a case.
Your mother brought the two of you to Begium.
I stopped to have a tinker
But my parent...
died in a car accident.
It was no accident.
It was an assassination attempt.
I thought only Austin survived
I should have told you the truth earlier.
But those Begium, they made you so evil.
Very interesting Mr Powers.
I have to see all the facts.
Dad!
Daddy is here.
Dad, what's going on?
What are you going to do Austin?
Austin?
Are you sure you can trust Dr. Evil?
He ain't heavy, he's my brother baby.
I should have told you so long ago son.
I'm very proud of you.
Can you forgive me?
Oh come on, first I'm not evil enough for you.
And now you're going to turn good?
Listen Scott.
You can try your whole life
wins your parent accepted.
Believe me, at the end of the day, you have to do it for yourself.
Austin.
What?
I hate you.
I don't even know you, but I hate you.
I especially hate you.
You'll pay.
You'll all pay!
I'd like to point out
no body in my genes runs like a girl.
Dr.Evil.
You might not want to destroy the world.
I got to flood the earth!
Think again Gold member.
Huh, Foxy Celpatra.
Is a shame I have to killed your partner.
Too bad for you. -Too bad for me?
How about too bad for you?
Oh no.
Luckly I keep a spare.
Look everyone, I have a key.
Oh yeah, bloodly Dutchmens.
Foxy, I'm coming!
Don't do anythying stupid, or the shooting begins.
Austin, I'll stay here and be your back up
Evil, what do we do?
I'm not an evil genius.
I could rewire the capacity of the tractor beam
Come on let's go.
The shooting begins..
You know Dr. Evil. I used to think you were crazy.
I know. Now I can see you're not.
I rang you?
Well done Austin.
You saved the world again.
Thank you.
Austin, you did it.
We did it.
Yeah baby.
No, just trying it on.
Goldmember, you are under arrest.
Yeah, asshole, I have time for a smoke and a pan cake.
Isn't that weird.
Fat bastard?
But you're not fat anymore.
I'm on a subway diet.
I've lost a 180 pounds.
Congratulation baby.
Thank you.
But I do have a little access skin you know.
But unfortunately my neck does look like a virgina
Austin, thank you for everything.
I'm going to get you Austin Powers
-The end-